this day
breathe in.

Today is, unreservedly, beautiful.

I am still, as these fingers impress these words into electronic uniformity, smiling from the feel of the road and the just-enough warmth of the air.

I sometimes forget that there is, inside me, the chance for positivity and upward movement. I just don't realize that it's there somewhere, just waiting.

Right now that warmth is tapping on the inside of my ribs, beating a tattoo of 'relax relax relax, release release release.' And, for once, I think that I will obey it.

There are a number of things that aren't me: the sky, society, other people, shoes, windows, electrons, vitamins, noses (the plural, I really only have the one.), space dinosaurs.

What I am thinking is a good decision is deliberateness, the idea that everything about me that I can decide I will decide. Not in the pursuit of control, the opposite really... More that there should be thoughtfulness in everything. I want to recreate that feeling when you receive a present/card that a friend has made him or herself, just for you. That this was crafted with you in mind. I want that for myself, to myself. There is a second face to this thoughtfulness in every moment, and that is the letting go. The letting go of those things that are not within my hand, arm's reach, choice's purview.

breathe out.

(end of entry)