gillesderais (gillesderais) wrote,
gillesderais
gillesderais

my life just became different. I am no longer in a relationship. I do not know anything anymore.

My whole being feels shaken shaken shaken shaken shaken shaken, shaking. I am scraped clean on the inside, empty of everything except emptiness.

I have no support mechanisms right now, nothing but a desire to not sink (and a desire to sink). My friends with whom I might let out some of my emptiness or find the strength to go on or just////They are all away while I am here.

'Man is the pie that bakes and eats itself, and the recipe is separation.'

Alasdair Gray said this/that/what. I have always had a tendency to let quotes rattle around in the idiot part of my skull (all of it). It prevents me

-

What happens when I can't end a
Does it mean that I
Or is that out of the
Even through the walls you can hear the dogs barking that
Oh, just wound up
I always think about listening
Which is maybe
The

-

I wish the world the best night, which will never end.

It is best not to have been born at all: but, if born, as quickly as possible to return whence one came. I stole this from Sophocles, which is untrue.

EDIT:

still reeling, brain refuses to sleep, Brain Refuses. Fissured and Issured and ssured.

right now I am unmoored. literally not myself I have no self I have less existence now than when I was a ripped shirt hung on the shame link fence (made of chain link) mayde of that
mad uf thit

nothing is worth
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